Poetry and Writing

Camp - 07/22/94

(about Camp Christopher, where he found joy and acceptance for two weeks every summer) 

I love it
cabins and counselors
fishing and friends
it seems the fun never ends
swimming, boating,
bonfires too
you can't get bored, there's so much to do
camp, I love it. 

Petey Q - 07/22/94A cat! A cat!
Oh what a pet,
have you ever met
such a cat as mine
siamese, with fur so fine
Eyes, oh so blue
You have to hear his loud "mew"
and I Love him my Petey Q. 

Anything Goes - 07/22/94

Anything  Anything  Anything Goes 
Wild and crazy, jellied toes 
Dukes, kids, dogs, cats 
Hit a bowling ball with  ten baseball bats 
rambunctious and rowdy, yup thatís me 
Come on  come on   imagination is the key 
Smile for yourself   Smile for me 
Sing and shout slither and slide 
I eat bacon totally deep-fried 
forget about all your woes, 
Anything  Anything  Anything Goes! 

Death and True Happiness - 07/22/94
Death (original copy) 
Death is neither love or hate, 
but a cruel demented twist of fate, 
We lose those we love 
And pray to God they go to heaven above 
We hurt the ones we love the most 
How can we wake up and eat our buttered toast 
We mourn and cry, 
But somehow, someway we will get by. 
People kill 
Blood will spill 
We don't like to wait 
But alas it is too late. 

True Happiness
Of it we preach
It is always cut of our reach
For those you grab it
Wealth untold.
But not in gold
Those who are rich can have it
But only those whose hearts are pure
True happiness the only cure! 

I'm Dying and No One Cares - 08/08/94

I try to stand and walk 
I fall to the hard cold ground. 
It feels as if to life I'm no longer bound. 
The others look and laugh at my plight. 
Blood pours from my nose, I am not a pretty sight. 
I try to stand and again but fall 
To the others I call 
But they don't care 
The pain is unbearable 
The world is not fair 
I'm lost and cold 
I wish one would lend a hand to hold 
My tears mix with my blood 
The end of my life 
It nears 
I'm Dying and no one cares 
The pain.  The pain. 
I scream in pain! 
My body shakes in violent spasms 
I cry out in pain again! 
I scream 
My blood pours like a stream 
I'm Dying and no one cares 
I scream in pain one last time 
and then it's over. 
I am Dead and no one cares.  

I Wish You The Best and Save Me - 08/12/94

(original copy) 
I Wish You The Best
I hope you'll remember me 
I will remember you 
I wonder if you see 
that I must leave 
I just can not stay 
I did not want it that way 
So, I will leave. 
I will leave you behind, 
along with the rest of my life 
I will miss you 
Oh I will miss you 
but Don't look back 
for now I must pack 
for my journey 
Good Bye   Good Bye 
Please Don't cry 
I wish you the best. 

Save Me
Help!  Help! 
Save  Me! 
Open the door! 
Your love is the key! 
If you save me Together 
We will be! 
Help!  Save Me! 
Your love is the key. 

Remember Me - 09/01/94 and 01/02/97 in suicide note

I may be gone, but I hope I am not forgotten.
Remember me. 

Fade Out - October 1996

Kill yourself and kill me too
You know why I fell for you
You fall yourself past my basement 
Your head hit the pavement
I hope it doesn't hurt
When they treat you like dirt
Cuz your eyes are open as they stare
But half of you just ain't there,
Never see me smile
I'll just fade out in the meanwhile
Fade out fade out fade out. 

Lie - November 1996

Do you lie in the dark
Is your ignorance your bulwark
Why can't you see
Your just like me
You don't get metaphors
You could open so many doors
but they stay closed
I screamed when You posed
You move beyond your own ideas
Grow like chias
I can destroy your poor li'l boy
Join my cult
or you'll be a dolt
Just keep lying in the darkness
Sins you can't confess. 

Lost - November 1996

Lose myself in the rain
I can no longer feel the pain
all is quiet
before the rain
Rain pours down on me
I drown in the blood-filled sea
The heart was bleeding
What my life was needing
all I have to go is one more mile
I really don't wanna smile
I think that I could kill
but I don't know if I will
But I can't find myself in the rain
but I suddenly feel the pain
Life is lost 
Sold for a cost
falling down
leave this town
fall behind
leave it all behind
The rain stops.
The pain stops.
My heart stops. 

Changing - November 1996

The river washes over me
washes away impurity
The sunshine from above
I can fly like a dove
I laugh and smile
You oughta stay for a while
The water turns to blood
My life is turned to mud
The sun goes down
I crash land far from town
I scream and cry
You oughta say good bye. 

Witness (school paper)

Ever since I was a young child my mother has always told me too pray. Pray in Church. Pray when I wake up. Pray before I go to bed. Pray before I eat. Pray in school. Pray each time I hear an ambulance's siren. Pray, pray, pray. 

Every Sunday my mother has dragged me out of bed and hauled me over to church. She always will too. At mass my mom would always scold me when I talked to her. She would tell me to be quiet and pray. 

When I was a little kid my mom would always tell me about God. She made religion sound very exciting. She bought me my own Bible and dozens of Kid's Praise tapes. 

By now you have probably figured out that my mom is the biggest influence on my religious life. Although my mother may have flaws in other areas she has always come through when it came to religion. 

I was raised around God, My mother has crosses hanging on walls, angel statues, and pictures of holy people. When I was seven my mother was in a pottery class. She painted a small statue of Mary for me, I was so happy I took it to school for show and tell. When I got home I noticed a corner had chipped off. I must have cried for at least an hour. 

Even though I do not always enjoy having to wake up early on Sundays, I always thank my mother for taking me to mass. My father, however, does not take me to church when I spend weekends there. This just makes me appreciate my mother's efforts more. 

I know that no matter how old I am my mother is going to encourage me to be active in my religion. I know that if I have any questions regarding faith I can ask my mother. I am thankful to God for giving me such a religious mother.